Recently, Dionne Walker of the Associated Press published an article in the Washington Post called “More Black Women Consider 'Dating Out.” Where she pointed to the US Census data showed 117,000 black wife-white husband couples in 2006, up from 95,000 in 2000. Analyzing this data what does it say about Black marriages?
Easy, Black men are slowly disappearing leaving Black women to increasing select from a larger pool of candidates outside their race. According to the American Council on Education's most recent statistics, Black women on campus largely are surrounded by non-black men: In 2004, 26.5 percent of black males ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college versus 36.5 percent of black women that age.
While this topic seems to garner increasing attention by Black female-white male romance becoming a hot topic in black-geared magazines and on web sites, even hitting the big screen in movies like last year’s “Something New.”
I believe that individuals should date outside their race, because it allows them to experience another’s culture. Experiencing another’s culture is good because individuals can learn to empathize with their partner’s culture. Additionally, dating allows you to view your partner’s world through their eyes and experience, see how they perceive life, and handle obstacles. Nevertheless, there has to be a stopping point when it comes to marriage. Here are some reasons why:
- Think back to when black women agonize over breaking male-female bonds forged in slavery and strengthened through the Jim Crow era.
- Think when White males raped and ravaged or when because it was exotic during slavery.
“It may be even more of an issue for educated black women who have a sense of the historical realities of this country, where black women often were abused at the hands of white men,” Dr. Craig-Henderson, a professor at Howard University.
- ‘“Black-on-Black” Love is a form of resistance in a racist society’ Teejays Blog – notes “When brothas recognize that “Black-on-Black” Love is a form of resistance in a racist society (in effect, boycotting the negative stereotypes assigned to us by the mass-murdering-media) and steadfastly refuses to permit neither themselves nor anyone else (including sista’s) to exploit & disrespect Black Womanhood, THAT is revolutionary and you best believe it won’t be televised!’
- Shared Experiences/ Shared Worldview - For anyone who wants a life partner/ soul mate (as opposed to a fling/ relationship driven by enhancing one’s status), it’s natural to seek out an individual who has been through/ is going through what one has been through/is going through; someone who has a shared understanding of what it’s like to be a black person in a white supremacist world.
- Escape Additional Racism – avoid the ‘hassle’ of being in an interracial relationship – from the stares to the problems with racist in-laws – relationships are already challenging in themselves with partners of the same ethnic group - why add to your potential difficulties?
- Avoid Being fetishized - Know that your partner sees you as an equal/ another human being rather than the object of some unhealthy sexual fetish/ fascination.
- Love your Black Self/ Nurture your Black Consciousness Development – in a racist society, I believe this can only be done by exclusively dating/ marrying black partners. I’ve said in another post that I feel that white music has subtle impact on one’s racial identity development; likewise I feel that a white/ non-black partner is bound to have a detrimental effect on developing one’s consciousness as a black person – how could it not? Most black folk suffer from varying levels of self hate as a result of living in a white supremacist society – dating/ marrying black is way of enhancing self respect and self-love.
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